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Forgiveness: A Memoir, by Chiquis Rivera
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“I wrote this book not to dismiss a rumor but to share something much more important: my journey to forgiveness.”
Chiquis Rivera is a singer and the daughter of the late music superstar Jenni Rivera. In Forgiveness, her memoir, Chiquis bravely reveals the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father during her childhood and the difficulties she’s faced in her personal life as a result. Despite growing up marked by the wounds of abuse, she eventually conquered her fear of love andintimacy.
The story within these pages also recounts what caused the distance between her and her mother toward the end of Jenni’s life. In Forgiveness, Chiquis brings to light truths that she wishes she had been able to reveal to Jenni.
Two years after her mother’s death, Chiquis answers the most difficult questions: Was she able to make peace with Jenni? And in this story of triumph and tragedy, who is most in need of forgiveness?
- Sales Rank: #54684 in Books
- Published on: 2015-04-07
- Released on: 2015-04-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.37" h x .70" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
About the Author
Janney Marin Rivera, better known as 'Chiquis', is an artist, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and a well-known figure in the Hispanic community. She captivated her audience while starring on the reality shows Jenni Rivera Presents: Chiquis & Raq-C and Chiquis I Love Jenni 'n Control. Thanks to her charismatic personality, she is followed by more than 3 million fans on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram combined. She recently launched her music career with the singles Paloma Blanca and I'm Not That Girl. She is currently at work on the second season of her television series, Chiquis Confidential. Chiquis and her siblings live in Encino, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Had me in tears!
By ivette gutierrez
BEAUTIFUL BOOK REALLY ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND WONDERFUL LIFE LESSONS APPLICABLE TO ALL. READ IT STRAIGHT THRU COULDN'T PUT IT down.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Story of strength, resilience, and Forgiveness
By Susan
Couldn't put the book down! Beautiful book. I cried through most of it. Thank you Chiquis for sharing your story.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
This review contains spoilers.
By Julie
This review contains spoilers.
I found Forgiveness to be a beautiful book. A true love story between mother and daughter written by a caring and sensitive young woman. There are a lot of things I really loved in this book. Her deep expressions of love for her mom and the love she received in return, the entire beautifully expressed theme of forgiveness throughout. I greatly admire how she bravely writes about the molestation she suffered as a little girl. And I am convinced that the author did not cheat with her mother’s husband, an accusation she goes into painstaking detail to prove is false. There’s a lot more that I love, but I won’t mention those in specific detail as this review would go on forever. I will be mentioning spoilers, especially on things that I had a hard time understanding about this book, as well as information from Unbreakable, Jenni Rivera’s memoir. So now that I’ve given a spoiler warning, here ya go.
In the first pages of Forgiveness, there is a copy of one of the cards Jenni gave to her daughter on her 26th birthday. In it she writes “I know there are certain things you don’t understand about the woman that brought you into this world.” The author repeats this same idea a few times in the book, and it seems evident that this is often the case. I can only imagine how painful it might be to read your own mother’s memoir after she has died, but I really can’t help but think that perhaps if Chiquis did read it, she would have a much better understanding of the terrible traumas her mother survived and triumphed over, and how that made her who she was.
Here are the things that I had a hard time with about this book.
1) I was really surprised that the author never acknowledges that her mother was a victim, much less a survivor, of domestic violence. A 15 year-old girl thrown out of her parent’s home when a 21 year-old man commits statutory rape and impregnates her. Chiquis seems to refer to his violent abuse and her mother’s attempt at self-defense as their “fighting.” Perhaps recognizing this as abuse would help the author better understand the genesis of the anger and pain that her mom carried.
2) No acknowledgment of the emotional abuse caused to her mother by her mom’s second husband. While she mentions infidelity, she never mentions he cheated on her mom within months of her being raped at the hands of one of his enemies, after finding out the crushing news that her daughters and younger sister were sexually molested by her ex-husband, and within weeks of giving birth to his baby. He not only cheats, he emotionally abandons her. And their marriage ends because he’s unfaithful again after she’s forgiven him and taken him back. While the author explains well why she loves this man, it seems to me there’s denial about “stupid stuff” as she calls it at one point, when really it was painfully overwhelming stuff for her mother.
3) The author seems to show little understanding of the heartbreak and struggle in loving a man who choses his drugs over his love for you.
4) Admitting you’re addicted to spending money, and then qualifying it by saying “I truly felt the money belonged to me” as if that is justification to spend thousands of dollars on personal items on a company credit card. Not understanding how someone would be justifiably upset with that behavior for several reasons, from a place of integrity, fairness and concern.
5) Not believing your mom when she tells you it’s time to move out and be a grown up after she’s unfortunately had enough of this behavior, and instead accusing her of just being mean and vindictive because she didn’t like your boyfriend.
6) Blaming your mother’s husband by accusing him of having no character for not defending you when her mother has a right to take action of asking her to move out. A grown woman expecting her mother’s husband to defend her against his own wife?
7) Implying that your savvy mother is nothing more than a gossip when she tells you about your boyfriend’s reputation. A self-made woman who rose from poverty to the top of a male dominated genre on hard work, guts and instincts, she just listened to gossip? The woman who, as the author said herself, was always so protective, she’s not speaking from a place of concern? When the boyfriend defames Jenni and her stylist in public, you can’t help but think, hey maybe mom’s instincts about this guy were at least partly right. While she admits in much detail that it was a wrong thing to do, she ends up making the excuse that he was drunk. Okay, love the guy and forgive him for sure, but wow, a little expression of understanding of how horribly upsetting and painful something like that would be to one’s mom coulda been in order, especially given the mindset she had to be in at that point.
8) Worst theory ever - that somehow mom was motivated by jealousy. When I read what she wrote about her sister’s wedding, and her upset that her mom actually wanted to plan her second daughter’s wedding with her second daughter, I thought who is the jealous one here? At another event, when your mom has to tell you that you aren’t the star, is she talking from a place of ego, or is she addressing your sense of entitlement? The whole jealousy theory doesn’t float. It’s an unconvincing argument, especially when it seems pretty clear if you didn’t want to be in Jenni’s life on honest terms, she was happy to show you the door. Her producing a reality TV show centered around her daughter is another thing that squashes the jealousy theory. Feeling jealous is so different from feeling a lack of loyalty.
9) Having no understanding of the upset that comes when you discover your best friend has made a pass at your daughter. Sober or not, male or female, gay or straight, only a kiss, isn’t the point. It’s not silly and sweet, but a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed and a betrayal. It shows a complete lack of loyalty on the part of a best friend. Even if her mom jumped to the wrong conclusion about the full nature of their relationship, she had every right to be crazy upset. Without recognizing that and the hurt it triggered, you can’t understand all the profound confusion and sad stuff that followed.
10) When she thinks nothing of walking into her mother’s bedroom at 10 o’clock at night without knocking no less, and among other things, telling her mom she shouldn’t leave her marriage after her husband has betrayed her confidence and her trust. Something she labels “telling a stupid white lie.” What??? I’d have kicked his ass out and cut off his balls. (Wait…I think she kinda did that.) My heart really broke for the author at this point in her not realizing the fuel she was pouring on an already painfully volatile situation. Having to be told “our problems are between him and me, he shouldn’t be calling you to talk about anything,” um yeah. This sweet gal’s seeming lack of boundaries, expecting all of the men in your mother’s life to take your side against your own mother and thinking it okay that you be each other’s confidants. Not understanding your mom’s right to have her own feelings about inappropriate behaviors and being justifiably upset.
I’m not at all justifying being wrongly accused… but I believe when you take all of the above into consideration, the leap doesn’t seem that huge. Whether you believe Jenni had a right to the deep pain she was in, she was in deep pain. Trust had been broken, and the sad truth is that all three people involved earned that distrust as far as Jenni was concerned, even if they couldn’t see it, and no matter how unintentional it was.
After Jenni’s horrific plane crash, I find this book really gets back on track as a mother/daughter love story, a beautiful and heartbreaking tale. How she fought to lay her mother to rest with a sense of wholeness is devastating to read, and demonstrates the excruciating pain and suffering experienced by a wonderful daughter whose mother is the love of her life. How she seeks out her mother’s friend Vanessa and starts to realize the unrelenting stress and pain her mother was experiencing, and had experienced long before the break with her daughter, offers compassion, understanding and closure. That the author can see that her mother was fighting once again… this time fighting through the darkness to get back to the daughter she loved so dearly, is the triumphant moment of this love story. It’s not only the fact that she would have taken responsibility for an untrue and unjust accusation, but even if it were true, she would offer her daughter the most powerful example of the theme of this book - forgiveness.
Let me be clear that the words above represent a critique of the book Forgiveness. It is not a critique of the author Chiquis Rivera, her private life or her personal experiences.
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